Wednesday, August 30, 2006

it's ok, abba, she doesn't like me either

take 1

me: gah...work work work work...i can't take any more, i need to crash...i know, i'll go to grandma for shabbos! there's no internet connection and crappy reception there...no one will be able to bother me...

(dials number)

grandma: hello? yes, who is it?

me: hi grandma, i--

grandma: listen perlie, i am very very busy now. call me back tomorrow. bye.

me: b--(click.)

(puzzled): very very busy?


take 2

me: grandma hasn't called me back yet...i need to figure out what i'm doing for shabbos...oh well, it's ten o'clock at night, she's probably home now....

(dials number)

grandma's answering machine: hello, you've reached rose. please leave a message after the tone.

me: hi grandma, it's perel again...just wondering if i could come for shabbos, it's been a long time since i've seen you...i know you've been really busy lately, i can pick up the food in manhattan if you want...um, ok, call me b--(click).

gee, i'm getting tired of being hung up on.

take 3

(dials number)

grandma: yes, who is it?

me: grandma, it's--

grandma: oh, PERLIE! i was JUST ABOUT TO CALL YOU! listen, perlie, i don't know if you can come to dinner tomorrow.

me: aww....i guess i'll have to--wait--wait a minute, grandma. i--i never even asked you if i could come for dinner tomorrow.

grandma: well i don't think you can come for it. i am busy then.

me: that's ok, i can't come anyway, i have work then. what about shabbos?

grandma: the thing is i have an affair on monday. you cannot come for labor day, i am going to be very busy then.

me: ok, so i'll go home on sunday.

grandma: so you DON'T want to come?

me (confused): no...i mean, i do...

grandma: well you can't come for labor day. it is out of the question.

me: but can i come on shabbos? i can bring food back from the caf, grandma, you don't have to cook a thing--

grandma: DON'T BE RIDICULOUS! of course you will not bring food back from the caf, do i not have a kitchen? have i not cooked shabbos for 40 years?

me: but i can come, right?

grandma: not for labor day.

me: but i can come if i go back on sunday.

grandma: OH, so you want to go back on SUNDAY?

me: yes. i'll come on friday and go home on sunday and i won't come for labor day.

grandma: oh, well if you go back on SUNDAY then you can come.

me: er...so that's a yes, right?

grandma: ok i love you very much goodbye (click).



i wonder how i'm gonna weasel rosh hashana out of her....

7 Comments:

Blogger PsychoToddler said...

I don't know how I'm going to ask her if I can stay for shabbos instead of going to Teaneck...

6:39 AM  
Blogger Chaikers said...

Your Grandma is hilarious!

8:24 AM  
Anonymous Yocheved said...

My grandma is like this all of a sudden as well...it reminds me of that one phone commercial where the rates have gone down, so the kids were calling their folks at the retirement home more frequently, and they kept getting hung up on!

9:47 AM  
Blogger outofAMMO said...

Almost sounds like Bubbie

1:33 PM  
Blogger Shira Salamone said...

Well, one savta or another . . . :)

8:16 PM  
Blogger 30cal said...

um... she IS ur bubbie. she's funny too.

12:25 PM  
Blogger outofAMMO said...

yes, but her official title is not " Bubbie".

6:53 PM  

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