Monday, June 04, 2007

alarming development

i think my chocolate-cow-hunting malady has spread to other parts of my brain. i have been trying to make my way through an 800-page book for most of the morning. i say 'try' because the editor of said book has woven illustrations, seemingly at whim, throughout the book, and i have become so obsessed with finding them that i can't concentrate on what i'm reading:

book: 'ah ha,' said gaius maurius to felix constantinus, 'that is where you are wrong, for surely the invasion of gaul will be most beneficial to...'

fudge's brain: right, felix. he's the guy who had the bushy eyebrows on page 48.

book: whereupon felix constantinus drew his dirk, saluting the great roman lord who had bequeathed to him that most dire of legions, which had slain the...

fudge's brain: but i haven't seen a picture of gaius maurius yet, and i already flipped through the next three chapters looking for it.

book: 'hark!' cried gaius maurius, flinging up his shield, 'treachery in the villa!'

fudge's brain: hmm...maybe if i started from the back and just didn't look at the words...then i'm sure to find all the illustrations...

book: 'what ho, good felix...your master lies dead upon the stairwell, a victim of that most cruel and unlawful adversary...'

homework assignment: explain in your own words why felix and ruticellus felt justified in their murder of gaius maurius.

fudge's brain: wait, they killed him?

(flips back, looking for the words 'he died')

fudge's brain (impressed): whoa! ruticellus is lookin' good!

2 Comments:

Blogger PsychoToddler said...

Keep scanning for this line:

"Whereupon felix and ruticellus, and not only felix and ruticellus, but also ruticellus and felix, drew out his dirk and his knife (for his dirk is also a knife), and yelled forth, "Hark ye vile offender, ye have offended and acted viley," whereupon he (note the run on sentence) plunged his dirk, and also his knife and also ruticellus plunged his dirk and knife and blade (for a dirk is knife is a blade of course of course) into whatsisfaces back..."

2:17 PM  
Blogger Hila said...

Oy...I think it's a college thing. I have to think it's a college thing, because otherwise you and me, kid, we're just plain weird. :-p

9:54 PM  

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