Wednesday, August 31, 2005

dripping yellow madness

my english comp teacher is one of those Cool Teachers.

you must know what i mean; if you haven't been in school recently, i'm sure you've experienced something similar anyway. you expect an old lady in a pant suit with a type-written syllabus to walk through the door, and instead, it is an arty twenty-something with an angular, high-lighted hair cut, bell bottom jeans, multiple earrings and a crisp plum oxford shirt. the first thing she says when she walks through the door, a few minutes late, is: let's rearrange the furniture, hmm?

she is not the first teacher i have had like this. i meet these people all the time. in high school, my tenth grade english teacher wore flip-flops to class, rolled her eyes constantly, stuck out her tongue and said 'freaking wicked' a lot. she knew all our culture references, saw all the teenage movies, knew all about brad and jen (more than me, anyway) and whatever. my guitar teacher, too, who i expected to teach me scales and musical theory and maybe some classical picking, turned out to be a bleached-blonde rocker chick who preferred to be called binky.

and so when my comp teacher walked through the door, my heart sank.

because the aforementioned teachers were both crazy.

who knows. maybe the comp teacher will be the one who pulls it off. maybe she will be the one who will actually BE fun and friendly, instead of just PRETENDING to be fun and friendly. she says she loves science fiction and she's written a short story, and i talked to her after class and she says she'll give me feedback on my work. maybe she will really be a friend.

but i don't have too much hope, because 'fun, hip' teachers have always taken a violent dislike to me. literally. my tenth grade teacher used to chuck markers at me. i think i come off as pretentious and haughty to them, because i simply am not cool. i don't speak the cool language. my father may think i am a teenage wasteland because i consciously refuse to capitolize on my blog, but in real life, i am as hopeless when it comes to slang and celebrity culture as any middle-aged political science teacher. furthermore, i take things, especially english, way too seriously. i LIKE books. but this makes teachers suspicious, and they think i am brown-nosing (i am?) and consequently they loathe me.

G-d this is fun.

so anyway, that's the update from the battlefield. my internet's still broken, and shows no signs of ever getting fixed. i am learning to adapt...i just spend in between class time in the computer lab. i'm gonna get supper and then i've got a creative writing class.

holla at ya later.


Blogger PsychoToddler said...



2:40 PM  
Blogger Doctor Bean said...

The "cool" teachers don't like you because you're smarter than them. They try to be all the students' friends because they're not confident enough in their grasp of the subject matter to be an aloof, effective teacher. You threaten them (unintentionally of course) because you don't need a friend, you need a teacher.

Success is the best revenge. You will kick @$$ and when you're a Senator (Republican, please G-d) I'll tell my friends "I sent her drawings of giant marauding robots when she was an undergrad."

3:15 PM  
Blogger PsychoToddler said...

I'd like to stay and argue that you are, in fact, Dripping Yellow Madness, but me and these cans of paint have a date with a wall!

5:28 PM  
Blogger AnySara said...

Good luck with the teacher, Fudge. I teach seventh grade and I only throw markers at the students I like. Seriously. It's some weird classroom bonding ritual. :)

6:28 PM  
Blogger fudge said...

abba: it's so fun to piss you off. truly, i will try anything.

dr bean: if i am elected, i promise to provide free internet and soft-serve peanut butter ice cream in every door room.

abba (yeah, i'm not done with you yet): i know, but then why does she act like she wants to be our friends?

anysara: that is because you don't have to try to be cool (:

btw, my creative writing teacher is awesome in a way that regardless of transcripts you will remember forever

7:07 PM  
Blogger 30cal said...

girls think rearranging furniture is cool? odd...quite odd... (jots down note on sticky pad) wow i could right a book on this kinda thing. k perel here's the deal u send me wacky posts i write the book!!!!!!

BREAKING NEWS: Strangely,in WITS, all the retarded idiot teachers (Dr Stoner shliita, for one) love rearranging the furniture, and everyone hates them for it, yet all the cool students like to do the same. More on this as it developes...

7:21 PM  
Blogger PsychoToddler said...

Watch it with the name calling, Mr, or you'll find yourself a 15 cal.

8:57 PM  
Blogger fudge said...

see, this is just like home.

kovi, i just told shifra here allllllll about you (; and she told me alllllll about her brother. and then we laughed like this: HAH ha ha ha.

and she's been showing me her old blog and family pics and stuff.

btw kovi, you can write the book any time. any time.

10:59 PM  
Blogger 30cal said...

abba: 15 cal? huh? u lost me. also do u mean calling dr stone names? trust me its ok. they bounce off him like bullets off a thick skull. not that we've tried that yet...

to fudge: well im glad to know u won't be showing ur bunkie any of our old family pictures, ha ha, becuz they are better off being buired and forgotten, im sure u agree. u might argue that burning them would also get the job done but, hey, who cares? as long as they're properly disposed of.

to abba: you'll note the they're, as opposed to there and their. see i am learning something at school, u must be very proud of me. :D

11:12 PM  
Blogger fudge said...

yes, dorkster, but while you are willing perpetuating the ugly 'u for you' trend, i do not think it advisable to call attention to your grammar.

i'm off to jewish ethics!

7:23 AM  
Blogger PsychoToddler said...

'i'm off to jewish ethics!'

Show 'em how it's done! Maybe you can teach them something.

8:17 AM  
Blogger Steg (dos iz nit der ┼íteg) said...

This is so great! Now i know not to even try to be a cool teacher! I'll just be meeeeaaannnn. :-P

9:12 AM  
Blogger fudge said...

steg: yes. exactly. we kids are COOL with that. that is what we EXPECT.

6:51 PM  
Blogger Ayelet said...

delurking to make a spelling correction, if I may. (I normally don't do this the first time I comment on one's blog, but it seems that this blog has its fair share of grammar cops already, so one more can't hurt!) I believe the word is capitalize and not capitolize.
On another note, Fudge, I was introduced to you via your Dad's blog and I do believe you are the cutest/coolest teenager I know. And quite a talented writer as well. Pleasure making your acquaintance.

9:28 AM  

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