Monday, September 17, 2007

it's a good thing i have a newspaper subscription

i don't know about you, but in my building, they only deliver your papers to the front door. so every morning, when i wake up at 6:30 a.m. (shoot me now), i shuffle downstairs in my pajama skirt with a box of cereal under my arm to retrieve it.

i squint down at the table where the stack of wall street journals are kept, but this is really more of a token act than anything else, because i know my paper isn't there. in fact, i know exactly where my paper is: it is outside, being read by the doorman.

the first few times this happened, i did not know what to make of it. when i realized he was doing it everyday and clearly had no intention to stop just because i saw him doing it, i considered the facts and drew two important conclusions:

a) he returned all of the sections each morning folded and intact.

b) it is never a bad thing to be on a security guard's good side.

so i made a deal with him, which is that he gets the sports section out of hand every morning, and i get the rest at 6:30 when i wake up, and eeeeeeeeeverybody's happy.

this morning, however, when he handed me the paper, i found that no matter how hard i squinted and how many sections i flipped, i could not find the sports section to hand him. which annoyed me, because i usually proceed to stuff whatever i haven't read in my school bag/purse, and the sports section i do not read makes it that much thicker. still, i couldn't stand there all day, so at last i relented.

"i'm sorry," i said regretfully. "i know there's a sports section in here somewhere, but for the life of me i can't find it."

the doorman grinned sheepishly.

"you won't find it," he said. "the kitchen rabbi's reading it."

10 Comments:

Blogger PsychoToddler said...

What, no Best Buy section?

6:53 AM  
Blogger SJ said...

Wow. How do you manage to accrue these stories? Amazing.

8:41 AM  
Blogger Ezzie said...

Hehe. We used to do that in WITS. When I was kicked out of the dorms, I'd walk early every day and read the sports and front sections on the ramp; and every day, R' S would come and get annoyed that I was reading it before it was "censored". Then he'd read it while censoring before giving it to everybody at breakfast; they'd then take it and give the owner the section he wanted while divvying up the rest.

Ahh, good times...

1:11 PM  
Blogger Stam said...

thats hilarious

1:58 PM  
Blogger RaggedyMom said...

What, no comics?

6:06 PM  
Blogger PsychoToddler said...

What, no Dilbert?

8:17 PM  
Blogger the apple said...

There's a kitchen rabbi?

But seriously, that is HILARIOUS. How do you manage to get such good stories?

8:39 AM  
Blogger PsychoToddler said...

Humor is everywhere. You just need to pay attention.

8:58 AM  
Blogger Hila said...

LOL... Only in NY ;-)

10:55 PM  
Blogger Scraps said...

Hahahaha...I could so totally see that happening. :)

10:09 AM  

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