it's a good thing i have a newspaper subscription
i don't know about you, but in my building, they only deliver your papers to the front door. so every morning, when i wake up at 6:30 a.m. (shoot me now), i shuffle downstairs in my pajama skirt with a box of cereal under my arm to retrieve it.
i squint down at the table where the stack of wall street journals are kept, but this is really more of a token act than anything else, because i know my paper isn't there. in fact, i know exactly where my paper is: it is outside, being read by the doorman.
the first few times this happened, i did not know what to make of it. when i realized he was doing it everyday and clearly had no intention to stop just because i saw him doing it, i considered the facts and drew two important conclusions:
a) he returned all of the sections each morning folded and intact.
b) it is never a bad thing to be on a security guard's good side.
so i made a deal with him, which is that he gets the sports section out of hand every morning, and i get the rest at 6:30 when i wake up, and eeeeeeeeeverybody's happy.
this morning, however, when he handed me the paper, i found that no matter how hard i squinted and how many sections i flipped, i could not find the sports section to hand him. which annoyed me, because i usually proceed to stuff whatever i haven't read in my school bag/purse, and the sports section i do not read makes it that much thicker. still, i couldn't stand there all day, so at last i relented.
"i'm sorry," i said regretfully. "i know there's a sports section in here somewhere, but for the life of me i can't find it."
the doorman grinned sheepishly.
"you won't find it," he said. "the kitchen rabbi's reading it."
i squint down at the table where the stack of wall street journals are kept, but this is really more of a token act than anything else, because i know my paper isn't there. in fact, i know exactly where my paper is: it is outside, being read by the doorman.
the first few times this happened, i did not know what to make of it. when i realized he was doing it everyday and clearly had no intention to stop just because i saw him doing it, i considered the facts and drew two important conclusions:
a) he returned all of the sections each morning folded and intact.
b) it is never a bad thing to be on a security guard's good side.
so i made a deal with him, which is that he gets the sports section out of hand every morning, and i get the rest at 6:30 when i wake up, and eeeeeeeeeverybody's happy.
this morning, however, when he handed me the paper, i found that no matter how hard i squinted and how many sections i flipped, i could not find the sports section to hand him. which annoyed me, because i usually proceed to stuff whatever i haven't read in my school bag/purse, and the sports section i do not read makes it that much thicker. still, i couldn't stand there all day, so at last i relented.
"i'm sorry," i said regretfully. "i know there's a sports section in here somewhere, but for the life of me i can't find it."
the doorman grinned sheepishly.
"you won't find it," he said. "the kitchen rabbi's reading it."
posted by fudge at 4:00 AM
10 Comments:
What, no Best Buy section?
Wow. How do you manage to accrue these stories? Amazing.
Hehe. We used to do that in WITS. When I was kicked out of the dorms, I'd walk early every day and read the sports and front sections on the ramp; and every day, R' S would come and get annoyed that I was reading it before it was "censored". Then he'd read it while censoring before giving it to everybody at breakfast; they'd then take it and give the owner the section he wanted while divvying up the rest.
Ahh, good times...
thats hilarious
What, no comics?
What, no Dilbert?
There's a kitchen rabbi?
But seriously, that is HILARIOUS. How do you manage to get such good stories?
Humor is everywhere. You just need to pay attention.
LOL... Only in NY ;-)
Hahahaha...I could so totally see that happening. :)
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