Thursday, June 12, 2008

Panik! Aaaaa!

FUDGE (throwing rain poncho over head and slamming back door): Well, I made it home from work alive! Boy, that was ridiculous. The flash flooding, and the -

THE PT (popping out from behind the pantry door): Did you have a tornado drill?


THE PT: I had a tornado drill. You should have one too.

FUDGE: How did you get behind the pantry door like that?

THE PT: Being safe is so fun.

FUDGE: What are you talking about? What tornado drill? We never had 'tornado drills' when I was young.

THE PT (blinking in obvious mortification)

FUDGE (grumpily): Well whatever. What was this 'tornado drill' like? What did you do, duck under your desks?


FUDGE: Well, thank goodness for that.

THE PT: We ducked under the COMPUTER LAB desks!

FUDGE: Why? Couldn't you duck under your own desk?

THE PT: Uhh....I think you're forgetting the evacuating part. It wouldn't really be evacuating if we just stayed in our very own first-grade ROOM.

FUDGE: True. Well. Okay. What did you do in the computer lab?

THE PT: Told a story and practiced being safe!

FUDGE: What was the story about?

THE PT: I don't know. I was panicking.

FUDGE: The PT, did you run around in a circle screaming, 'Panic! AAHHHHH!', the way you do during thunderstorms at home, for forty-five minutes?

THE PT: Uh, not really, no.

FUDGE: Then how were you panicking?

THE PT: Well, my afternoon morah let me skip the line.

FUDGE: Why was that?

THE PT: Because I was terrified of the tornado.

FUDGE (suspiciously): Not because you were running around screaming, 'Panic! AHHHHHH!' ?

THE PT: I wasn't screaming that!

FUDGE: Weren't screaming that?


FUDGE: What WERE you screaming?

THE PT: 'Ahhhhh, tornadoes are the only thing in the whole world that I'm afraid of that are actually real!'


THE PT (sheepish)

FUDGE: That's...rather lengthy.

THE PT (mumbling): Well we never have monster drills.


FUDGE is an editorial intern and staff writer for the County Zoo and is currently wet-vaccing her basement carpeting. THE PT is a well-known novelist and paranoiac. Her upcoming memoir, "My Turnaido Jril" , will be available for purchase on June 18th.


Blogger Ezzie said...

Thank you for adding yet another smile to my day. That was HILARIOUS, Fudge. :)

We miss you over here!

7:23 PM  
Blogger the apple said...

I can't . . . I can't . . .

I have to convince my parents to let me come visit!!

p.s. Did it ever occur to you that The PT practically could have written all the word verifications, and we're secretly supposed to decode them?

Just a thought.

7:31 PM  
Blogger PsychoToddler said...

Don't put any tornados in your salad. You can get salmonella.

7:45 PM  
Blogger Erachet said...

Don't come to my house when we have a tent in the backyard. It attracts tornadoes. Especially during bat-mitzvahs.

8:51 PM  
Blogger Perel said...

oh apple. she finished her book. she stayed up all night to do it. bonus question: how will she spell 'evacuate'?

that would be a great project for all of us though...write a post out of verification words alone! we could start a new religion! like scientology!

9:58 PM  
Anonymous jackie said...

I. Love. Your. Sister.

5:52 PM  
Blogger Scraps said...

Fudge, you should do stand-up. Your sister is enough material to last a lifetime. :-D

Oh, and I totally agree about the word verification.

2:26 PM  
Blogger PsychoToddler said...

You should see her do Grandma Rose. Talk about spraying drinks through noses!

1:01 PM  
Blogger Eli said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

1:48 PM  
Blogger Eli said...

I did a post of word verification words some time ago:

1:50 PM  
Blogger Bas~Melech said...

So nu, where's the book?!

9:30 PM  
Blogger PsychoToddler said...

It's on my blog

6:01 AM  

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