you know it must be thursday when
i felt like arthur dent yesterday.
i'm not going to lie and say my life usually makes sense, but last night was the night from a poorly written episode of seinfeld.
for starters, i woke up in the morning wondering how many hours i could be awake before i could go back to sleep. it wasn't that i stayed up so late the night before; it's just that for me, 'not so late' has become something like two. i just never manage to get to sleep before two-thirty, and strange as it seems, i never manage to sleep longer than seven.
usually i function pretty well, but yesterday i was a walking talking zombie. and you had to pay extra for the walking part. i staggered through my classes without time for food, eventually reaching desperate heights at a quarter to two and running down the stairs to grab a danish in the five minutes between classes. then, i found myself in archeology class. there is nothing more confusing than coming to in archeology class. trust me on this.
my archeology teacher talks and looks exactly like my high school biology teacher. so you had all that deja vu stuff phasing in and out.
then i wanted to take supper home with me so i wouldnt have to go out again at night and could just crash into my bed. but as soon as i got to the caf, it closed. when i went to the other caf, it was also closed. since i have not a dollar to my name, i just went home and went to sleep. at five. i never do that.
further confused by flyers promising free food at a sy syms convention, i picked myself up at seven-thirty to go get food. i also hoped my friend would be there. but my friend wasn't there, and the food was gone by the time i got there. i went home mystified.
i did some aerobics and decided to go to sleep.
FIRE DRILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yes, that's right. at a quarter to one in the morning. THIS IS A FIRE DRILL. EVACUATE THE BUILDING.
i was not even remotely dressed, nor was i remotely awake. but somehow i made it down eighteen flights of stairs in my pajamas. you know, the hot red pants with little x's and o's on them and my swimming skirt? girls would catch sight of me and laugh. i had to laugh too.
back up eighteen flights of stairs. when i got to the top, i noticed i was shaking.
ok, i thought, that's kind of frightening. perhaps i should really go to sleep.
about to get into bed-- the phone rings!
it's from home!
they wouldn't be calling me at this hour unless something awful happened, G-d forbid, G-d forbid. i pick up the phone, and it is my incredibly creative brother, moe.
'perel! you gotta help me!'
'is everyone ok? what are you doing home?'
'yes but i just blew the power for the whole house! so now i'm looking at the fuse box. which switch do i pull?'
can my life get any more surreal?
i'm not going to lie and say my life usually makes sense, but last night was the night from a poorly written episode of seinfeld.
for starters, i woke up in the morning wondering how many hours i could be awake before i could go back to sleep. it wasn't that i stayed up so late the night before; it's just that for me, 'not so late' has become something like two. i just never manage to get to sleep before two-thirty, and strange as it seems, i never manage to sleep longer than seven.
usually i function pretty well, but yesterday i was a walking talking zombie. and you had to pay extra for the walking part. i staggered through my classes without time for food, eventually reaching desperate heights at a quarter to two and running down the stairs to grab a danish in the five minutes between classes. then, i found myself in archeology class. there is nothing more confusing than coming to in archeology class. trust me on this.
my archeology teacher talks and looks exactly like my high school biology teacher. so you had all that deja vu stuff phasing in and out.
then i wanted to take supper home with me so i wouldnt have to go out again at night and could just crash into my bed. but as soon as i got to the caf, it closed. when i went to the other caf, it was also closed. since i have not a dollar to my name, i just went home and went to sleep. at five. i never do that.
further confused by flyers promising free food at a sy syms convention, i picked myself up at seven-thirty to go get food. i also hoped my friend would be there. but my friend wasn't there, and the food was gone by the time i got there. i went home mystified.
i did some aerobics and decided to go to sleep.
FIRE DRILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yes, that's right. at a quarter to one in the morning. THIS IS A FIRE DRILL. EVACUATE THE BUILDING.
i was not even remotely dressed, nor was i remotely awake. but somehow i made it down eighteen flights of stairs in my pajamas. you know, the hot red pants with little x's and o's on them and my swimming skirt? girls would catch sight of me and laugh. i had to laugh too.
back up eighteen flights of stairs. when i got to the top, i noticed i was shaking.
ok, i thought, that's kind of frightening. perhaps i should really go to sleep.
about to get into bed-- the phone rings!
it's from home!
they wouldn't be calling me at this hour unless something awful happened, G-d forbid, G-d forbid. i pick up the phone, and it is my incredibly creative brother, moe.
'perel! you gotta help me!'
'is everyone ok? what are you doing home?'
'yes but i just blew the power for the whole house! so now i'm looking at the fuse box. which switch do i pull?'
can my life get any more surreal?
posted by fudge at 8:18 AM
8 Comments:
It's surreal to think that Moe would ask YOU which fuse to flip.
You need to eat more regularly. Get some cash and keep it on hand for emergencies.
Hey, at least you don't get 3 hours of detention for being up at 230! (Ask your brothers...)
Once you get used to 5 hours of sleep, you'll be fine. Or, you can always be like the rest of Stern and get hooked on Starbucks. Don't try to see how many hours you can go... It makes you never want to sleep at some point. I once did 69 [including the whole Shavuos] and I only went to sleep because the Schneidermans went home and there was no one left to talk to. And I couldn't fall asleep. Baaaad situation...
I am gonna sound like an old lady again. Don't exercise within four or five hours of the time you want to go to sleep. Establish a new bed time routine now that you are at school. Take a warm bath, wash your face, brush your teeth, what you do doesn't matter so much, what matters is that you do it at the same time in the same way each night. Hope you get some rest.
I've worked in enough educational institutions with students of various ages to know that fire drills are always scheduled early in the fall, before it gets so cold that no one wants to go outside. Now, why they had to schedule one in the middle of the night is another matter. Maybe that's standard for dorms.
Generally speaking, eating and sleeping are conducive to good health. Studying is not always compatible with sleeping, as I recollect, but, at least, get yourself some eats, or I'll show up on your doorstep with a bag of non-perishable groceries!
Maybe it wasn't a drill.
I remember middle-of-the-night fire drills in my dorm in college. Maybe they do it then 'cause they know that's when the most people will be around in order to 'benefit' from it.
:shudder:
Be thankful you don't go to a state school. When I was at UW-Eau Claire, Stupid Drunk People in the "party dorm" pulled the alarm at least once a week.
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