don't call us, we'll call you

i caught up with the pt tonight during her bedtime snack and thought i'd take advantage of the opportunity to ask her about her future.

me: the pt, what do you want to be when you grow up?

the pt (eating cookies): probably an orphanidge.

me: er...a what?

the pt: you know. an orphanidge.

me: you want to be an orphanage when you grow up?

the pt: yeah.

me: do you know what that is?

the pt: duh.

me: do you mean you want to run an orphanage?

the pt: oh. yeah, probably. give them clothes and stuff.

me: that's pretty kind of you. out of curiosity, why do you want to do that?

the pt: there's nothing else to do. oh wait! i remembered what i REALLY want to be.

me: oh, okay! what's that?

the pt: a MAILMAN!

me:

the pt eats another cookie.

me: a mailman?

the pt: it's the easiest job in the world!

me: how do you figure that? you have to go to all these houses and deliver the mail.

the pt (confidentially): and that's IT!

me: there's a lot of houses, you know. that's a lot of driving.

the pt (shrugging): so i'll walk.

me: so you'll--the pt, walking is even slower than driving.

the pt (shrugging again): then i'll bicycle!

me: er - okay, but won't you get kind of bored? all you'll ever do is put mail in mailboxes.

the pt: that's what makes it so easy! you just go over to the blue mailbox on the corner, take out all the mail, put it in the bag, and put it in people's slots!

me: i see.

(pause)

me: the pt, i need a job.

the pt: me too. but i know how to roller skate.

me: what now?

the pt: do you know how to roller skate?

me: um...i guess so, but i don't have any skates.

the pt: oh. well that's your problem. if you knew how to roller skate, you could be a mailman.

me (at a loss)

the pt: why don't you just go to college?

me: i already did that.

the pt: well, you could go to medical school.

me: i don't want to be a doctor.

the pt: oh. well, you could go to waiter school. hey, why don't i go to waiter school?

me: waiter school? what is that, where you learn how to be a waiter?

the pt: yeah! that's a great idea! i think i'll do that afterward.

me: after what? after you're a mailman?

the pt: no. after college.